Food For Thought: It's Time We Stopped Comparing Ourselves

My sister's words of advice after finishing university was that she'd learnt that the best thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to others. This is something I've thought about so much recently and particularly today when I was talking to one of my friends.

We'd just had our results day (on the 14th) and she had got amazing grades - she's going to Oxford so you can tell she's incredibly smart. But rather than being happy and seeing all that she's achieved, she was sad instead because she knew that other people in our year had got better results - and that she by comparison just wasn't good enough.

I think part of the problem is the intense school environment we'd both been in. Our school was ultra-competitive, all girls and highly academic. Adding to that virtually everyone was skinny, beautiful and very clever (I'm the exception to that at least). So we were in an environment where we constantly compared ourselves - whether it was how skinny other people were or how well we did in exams, there was always this overwhelming feeling of not being good enough. Even when you know you're in one of the best schools in the country, you can't help thinking how the hell you got there in the first place. I'd seen so many intelligent girls cry, because they didn't get the highest result or because they didn't feel attractive enough. Adding to that I can't tell you the amount of times I saw girls skip lunch, or slyly pick just a salad hoping no one would notice. 

Sadly I think we have a culture of comparing ourselves, whether it's to celebrities or people we know, we seem to be experts at finding our own imperfections. And yet when we look at other people, we tend to see all the great things about them. Like with the friend I mentioned earlier, it was really heartbreaking to hear how she felt about herself. This is the friend who is great at sport, ridiculously pretty, funny with a personality that could light up a room and very intelligent and hardworking. The sad thing is she doesn't believe me when I say this, but believe me it's very much true. 

The thing is we often can't see what is so great about ourselves, because we compare each other constantly. We can get knocked down by the smallest things, a bad grade or someone saying something mean about us and forget what we've achieved and who we really are. It's hard to be robust and say I'll stop comparing myself to others because it is inevitable. But if I can give you any advice it would be to try and see yourself through your friend's eyes, not the harsh lens you use for yourself. 

Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts - it's nice to do a personal interlude now and then from beauty and fashion posts. Have a great day