The Single Girl Diaries | My First Crush

Hello Lovelies! Fans of my anecdotes this series, will love this week as we're popping into a time machine, and going all the way back to my primary school days. To paint a picture, young me was a shy, walking advert for Gap who lived in pink and always felt like the outsider. I guess we're all defined by who we were as kids. I know I am. Deep down I will always be that girl, and you know what she would never have believed you in a million years if you'd told her she'd be a blogger one day. Life is funny like that.


At school, I wasn't popular to say the least, probably because I hardly spoke a word. I was the true definition of shy. But when you got to know me I was a bundle of energy and excitement - kind of like a jack-in-the-box just ready to be opened. Surprisingly, despite being the girliest girly girl that ever walked the planet I ended up becoming best friends with the school punk/goth, because we were the odd ones out, so it made sense. And get ready to aww, she is still very much my best friend and grown up me couldn't live without her. She is by far one of the best things to happen to me.

But yeah, I know what you're thinking, enough with the nostalgia - let's get to the story of your first crush already! 

Our story starts with me sitting down in the playground, lining up super early to go back inside school because I was cool like that. Two girls from my year who I vaguely knew ran over to me, and giggling blurted out that a certain guy in my year had a massive crush on me. Safe to say, as someone virtually invisible this was a massive surprise. A crush on me, NO WAY! This was something totally unheard of.

The idea that this gorgeous boy somehow had a crush on me blew my mind. I was so used to being overlooked. It's what happens when you're best friends with the girl with the out of this world personality. I mean, in all honesty I was so used to just about every boy in school asking if my best friend liked anyone because they liked her. But I guessed now was my time, and without even speaking to the guy I became completely and utterly infatuated with him. And the funny thing was I didn't even know what his voice sounded like, this was how ridiculous the crush was.

And as any young kid would do, we started plotting how to let this guy know that the feeling was mutual. There was actually a ridiculous show in the UK called Crush, where young school kids would admit their crush on television and then compete for a great date. Kids who had the guts to apply to that show, I salute you. Meanwhile past Vicky was not that gutsy. It wasn't like I was going to openly admit my feelings, so me and my best friend plotted to create a situation whereby me and my crush had to talk. 

Before our plan could be hatched, I did something quite stupid. I'd been invited over to the house of the popular girls in our year, which was a complete rarity and we were all sitting down and talking on the bed. Being the total fashion icon I am, I was even sporting a pair of fake earrings, yes really. Those things were painful, let me tell you now, I really suffered for my style. Anyway, one of the girls asked if I liked anyone in our year, which I thought was just a friendly question (obviously not). So, I ended up telling them about my first crush, and I got a kick out of how interested they seemed. I actually felt accepted by them for once - but you know what it was all obviously too good to be true.

The next day we were all playing on our Sports field during break, and my best friend thought this would be the best opportunity to strike up a conversation with my crush. She didn't actually tell me this, but sneakily and 'accidentally' kicked our ball over to my crush. I ran after it, spoke in broken English to my crush and embarrassedly slouched back. That was not how I'd imagined my first words to my crush to be. But hey, it actually gets worse. The boyfriend of one of the girls from the other day, starts to chant 'Victoria loves XXX' over and over again. It felt like my whole world had been turned upside down, and I just ran away and hid. 

Of course she'd tell someone, how could I be so stupid?

At least if anything, the weight of telling my crush I liked him had been taken off my shoulders - although public humiliation wasn't exactly my method of choice. However, I found out a few days later that the guy had never actually had a crush on me in the first place. It was all one big prank to make me like him, and then humiliate me for liking him. When I found it out I just felt empty. Not really surprised, but more sad that I'd believed that a guy like him could like a girl like me, because it was obviously ridiculous. But luckily being just a crush, I got over it in like a week. Ah I miss being a kid, life was so much simpler. 

Talking of unrequited crushes, I guess not much has changed as I find myself lumbered with one yet again and this time on a guy who makes Mac and Cheese (oooh the subtlety). He snap-chatted me this week making Mac and Cheese and I honestly thought it was the cutest thing ever. But before you guys get too excited, I'm pretty sure this is all one sided because I've been less than attractive recently. But hey I'm gonna climb back under my Duvet fort and continue my Gossip Girl marathon - have a great week lovelies!

Thought of the Day: 'The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.' - L.P. Hartley

Man Crush: Chandler Bing because I love him so much, I basically feel like the male version of him.

Perk of being single: Being able to have crushes on just about everyone and not feel guilty.

Thank you for reading lovelies! Join me for another post next Sunday at 12PM GMT.

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