Why you shouldn't fear failure (and actually embrace it!)

Failure, the big ugly 'F' word... 

The funny thing about failure is that when it happens to you it somehow feels like you are the only ever person in this whole world, if not universe, who has ever failed at anything. Though of course, really when you think about it that's just your brain putting a big old spotlight on you and is not in any way reality.

The thing is as a society we don't really talk about when we fail, or at least we certainly don't go shouting about it on social media (unless it's one of those linkedin posts that's trying to make a point). Usually all we see are those big wins and amazing results.

But the thing is every success is born out of several failures. You don't learn how to walk without stumbling a lot of times, and you certainly can't be good at anything without being bad at it first. So why are we so scared of failure? Why does it make us want to crawl under a rock and never come out? And why does it keep us up all night as we hang on to memories of when things went wrong?

For me it's a fear of being found out. Yes, it's that good old friend of mine, imposter syndrome. When I do something wrong I feel like it's exposing me as I really am, that somehow it's a little chink in my armour for all to see. That's the thing that makes us want to hide our failures, so that people don't call us out but that fear is the same thing that holds us back.

So my resolution, which I will endeavour to stick to is to embrace my failure. I'll try to see it as the steps towards my goals and what I want to achieve. And most importantly there is a lot to be said for not being perfect at everything. I may not be the best at drawing for example, but how sad would it be to let that stop me picking up a pencil.

Elizabeth's podcast How To Fail is great by the way (and the book of the same name). And now her newest book Failosophy will live around my house, close to hand for the next time I'm feeling doubtful. Because after all, we all sometimes need someone to tell us they've been there and it will all be ok.